âAnd they have defeated him by the blood of the lamb and by their testimony.â Rev 12:11.
All my firsts were either Church, Church related or Sunday.
The first time I kissed a boy, it was at a night vigil and he was from church (I often deny this cause I claim I was about 7?)
The first guy I actually really liked was from my church.
The first time I did more than kissing, it was on a Sunday.
My first boyfriend was from church.
And the list goes on...
Despite that my parents werenât so âChristian-ishâ when I was younger, the church is kind of where I grew up. As I grew up, the more I attended church, the more I strayed from church.
This is the story of the things that led me to Christ.
PS: I wrote this on a Sunday.
Maybe because I grew up in a Christian home but I donât have a specific distinctive moment where I can say âmy life took a 360° turnâ. But these are the things that pushed me gradually towards Christ.
1. The lockdown: as horrible as the lockdown was, I know that I was one of the reasons it happened. I know it sounds selfish, like the world revolves around me (I know it does, Iâm not delusional - lmao sorry, I meant to say âdoesnâtâ). But I know how farther and further away from God I would have gone if I wasnât forced to sit my ass at home for months.
2. My dreams: I always have vivid dreams. Sometimes, I know that my dreams are my fears. But God has shown me my purpose in my dream. And that dream, every time I remember, the emotions I felt as I woke up, I feel it all over again. It was too real to be a dream yet too much of a dream to be real. But I knew that God was calling me, I know that he is calling me.
3. Discipleship classes: During strike and lockdown, I attended discipleship classes where I heard raw truths. No sugar coating. And from discipleship classes, I knew what I was doing wrong, and what to stop. But there was no courage.
4. My parents: If I didnât have parents like mine, parents always willing to listen and answer all my terrible questions. Parents ready to explain how âChrist cannot be rationalizedâ how âreason cannot work when it comes to the ways of Christ.â I donât know where Iâd be.
5. My life problems (the empty hollow space in your chest when you donât have Christ): I constantly encountered problems that I can say that He probably put in my way to draw me to him. For almost a year, I was so sad and I knew something was missing. But I didnât have the courage to do what was right.
Now, the church has become a place for this girl to bloom.
I read something that said I shouldnât be afraid to share my story. So here I am. Sharing it, fearlessly.
Intentionality is Godâs nature. Me being intentional about him is me being a child of my father.